Beautiful. Boss. Real. Fake. Hollywood. Houston. Fierce. Fearless. Flawless? Beyonce.
On typing the name and stature that is Beyonce, my somewhat outdated Windows 8 processor prompted me to correct my spelling mistake, well what do you suggest I queried, 'beyond' it replied. Hmm very convincing, as in fact Beyonce defines the word 'beyond' in all aspects. Many may disagree but in the public eye and in the spotlight of the media this is indeed a fact and not just biased opinion.
I am grateful for Beyonce. Growing up I envied my older sister and cousins who were blossoming in the attitude era, an age when girls were telling the world just how independent they really were becoming. In 1999 Destiny's Child released the 'Writings on the wall' album,
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| Attitude! |
I firmly believed that Beyonce owned this album, other voices were outshined and over shadowed by her amazing vocals that I just knew she couldn't wait to shake off her bandmates. The album was a huge success and listening to Chiamamanda Ngozi Adiche's 'We Should All Be Feminists' in 'Flawless' and seeing the visual to 'Pretty Hurts' I realise that I was wrong, it's not about competing with your sisters and your girls, its not about being better per say but being the best you can be and still appreciating the hard work and effort of others.
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| The 90's calling to me! |
In saying this I also understand that jealousy goes hand in hand with unhealthy competition but growing up I couldn't help but think really? I've been mugged off, 1999 what a time to be a teenage girl and not 5 years of age. A time to confront boys with 'Say My Name', lay down the law with 'Bills Bills Bills' and switch the rolls in 'Confession', how could I help but feel cheated when my teenage years was greeted with women who lacked consistency and who were just scared constantly putting themselves down. I have to admit some lyrics were quite demotivating, I was advised that 'sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down' and in attempt to make light of the situation I was told to get back up when it does, however it didn't sound convincing enough. Then there was another female artist who I adored, but she ignited the insecurities I didn't know I had, she was scared of loving a man although she wasn't scared of lions tigers and bears and as a young girl with absent father issues this isn't something I needed to hear.
Instead I looked forward to Beyonce who was fearless, even though it wasn't right for my situation she showed me how a man should treat a woman when in love with her song 'Daddy' and how not to be scared of any man in 'Yes'. In '09 she released 'Halo' and presented to the women of the world love, in the form of a beautiful, hazel eyed Michael Ealy. (I'll give you a moment to wipe your drool)
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| That Bootay! |
But in a bid to stay relevant in the same year she embraced the single life, in 'Single Ladies' a movement I've always been apart of but I couldn't help but question Beyonce, by this point I was confused, the same way a lot of you were about her detailed sexual adventures with her husband in 'Drunk In Love' 'Yonce' and 'Partition' wasn't this the same woman who cussed out girls in the song 'Nasty Girl'? There seemed to be a double standard when it came to Beyonce, she was able to be half naked in her videos yet we bash video vixens everyday. Isn't she the same I questioned, until recently I was posed in a predicament. Guys in the street see me and my two friends on a night out usually walking tall in air max's or my over used KG boots and yell 'Hey! Destiny's Child!' and hearing them chant 'Beyonce' when I walk by never gets old as does the eye roll they receive. It took me a long time (literally my whole teenage life) to accept and embrace my body, my hips, my thighs and my derrière the way Beyonce does, but now at the age that I am I finally understand the difference between Beyonce and these video vixens. She taught me to love my body because it's mine, these dancers love their bodies because of men and that in my opinion is wrong.
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| Black & Beautiful |
The visual to 'Pretty Hurts' opened my eyes and reinstated her message that you need to fall in love with yourself first. However, this video also stirred up old feelings I had about Beyonce's presence and demeanour, I used to think of her as a beauty pageant contestant, rigid and almost too perfect, a wide and empty smile. I remember watching ITV's 'A Night With Beyonce' and when asked what her biggest insecurity was she replied, 'these ears' and again I found myself thinking Are you for real? That's it, you say it without flinching, wrinkling her nose and cringing, she provided an all too perfect and polished response. So aged 16 I decided Beyonce was fake, a phoney. You're married, not single. 'Run The World' had all my white and Asian girl friends feeling empowered, but the boys seemed to take my pride as the common angry black girl, fuelled with aggression and just a headache. However, Beyonce would always be the first to drive home her pride in being black, although many of you may bear controversial responses to her very light skin tone she is proud of her skin and heritage as am I. But I learnt that without her help!
It's only now aged 19 that I realised what I had been missing in my teenage years, Beyonce has been
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| Bey back, back in the day |
there for me the whole time. My family were able to play any Beyonce album at all our children parties, passing the parcel to 'Lose My Breathe' 'Crazy in Love' making up dance routines in Grandma and Grandad's front room to 'Welcome to Hollywood'. We never skipped a track on B-Day and all the kids tried their hand at lip syncing the words to 'Listen'. The 'Crazy in Love' booty shake was a world wide phenomenon and it was fun to do, I will never forget my cousin trying to learn the entire dance to 'Ego' and then 'Dance for You' no way did it uphold the same taboo as Miley Cyrus tarnishing the hard work of Youtube's Twerk Team and creating an army of pre-teen girls uploading failed attempts on Vine.
With this self titled album she brings back all the attitude I wanted to be embraced with growing up, she helped me understand that now was the right time that I needed to hear this music. Her message in her words were "finding the beauty in imperfection" and to "enjoy your life, it's short". All of a sudden it made sense to me, the obvious became visible, she is human, she isn't bionic and she isn't always Sasha Fierce, she admits that you're not too big to lose. Beyonce made no mistake with her music but made some decisions that had some people lost. She is a mother and she sings about that, she blogs about it and shares it with us all, she's also a wife and a lover and isn't embarrassed to explore this in her music either, I mean did you see the Grammy's!? Finally she is a woman, who once was a little girl, she shows her growth and I am glad I grew with her. Music never dies and I am still inspired by listening to retro Bey, old albums, interviews and outfits. Although their is a physical change the goal has always been the same. Be fierce, be fearless and be free to be who you are. 'Grown Woman' shows exactly what I'm talking about, the old clips of her younger self performing (and scarily morphed mouth using CGI) shows that some of our best memories are in the past and it's okay to go back and relive it to remind us of where we've come from and where we're going. So I mean it when I say I am grateful for Beyonce. Long Live Queen Bey.
Hey Homies! Its been a while since my last run and even longer since my last post so ive decided to collab with the two things I love to do. Race day was May 31st! (I'm still shocked that I actually did it) but with the summer sun playing hide and seek and my endorphines running low theres some other factors that motivates me to get up and move! (I am not reffering to Little Mix here please retain your excitement) If you're being like me and procrastinating, neglecting your weekly or daily run then there are a few things you need to do to get yourself back in the zone. Here's my very own 'In The Zone' checklist to help you lace up and get running! 
